Harry's adoption story

We felt so strongly that just as adoption is God's first choice, it should be our first choice too.

What a Christmas present: Harry’s adoption story

Following an unsettled start, and a move to his foster carers on Christmas Eve, seven-month old Harry was welcomed home by his adoptive parents, David and Kimberley. They share their story:

We had always talked about adoption – it was a conversation we'd had numerous times before we were even married – but we weren't really sure what that would look like and how our future family would come together. We'd been married for two years and were just beginning to think about starting a family when we heard Krish Kandiah speak at a seminar. We walked out knowing adoption was something that we would do.

We went on to read the Home for Good book, which really reinforced and clarified our thinking. By the time we finished reading it we both just knew that, for us, adoption was the primary plan. It was not an ‘as well as’ birth children, but ‘instead of’. We felt so strongly that just as adoption is God's first choice, it should be our first choice too.

So we called the Home for Good enquiry line, and they connected us with their partner adoption agency in our region. Everybody we spoke to told us that it's a long and involving process and there would be a lot of waiting, but we believed that God had called us to do this. As it was, it was exactly nine months from the date we registered our interest with the adoption agency to the date Harry came home. For us, it really felt that was God confirming it was His plan.

There were lots of different concerns and unknowns. Harry was showing signs of developmental delay and there were medical unknowns, but it was impossible to say how these might outwork throughout his life, and we knew that his early life experiences meant that forming attachments would likely be a challenge for him. But for us there was one certainty: we were committed to loving him and giving him the care he needed, for life.

Frustratingly, we had a lot of people look at us with sympathy when we said that Harry was adopted, and they would express their condolences that we ‘couldn't have our own children’. It was hugely challenging, but at least it gave us the opportunity to explain that it was our first choice and share our story with them – and introduce them to Home for Good!

When Harry arrived we were at theological college, which was such a brilliant support network. They supported us practically with two weeks’ worth of meals and a lot of clothes, and they also offered us so much emotional and spiritual encouragement. Our churches have been open to learning more about looked after children and how to support them and fostering and adoptive families.

Not long after Harry arrived with us, we started a support group for other families in our area, with great help from Home for Good linking us to other local families and offering resources. The Summit has been great for making new links and friendships and the support and encouragement we get from other Home for Good champions and Facebook groups is such an invaluable resource when you need to talk to someone who ‘gets it’ without having to explain everything.

Harry had been with us for five months on our first Christmas together. We spent the morning just the three of us and went to church in our Christmas onesies (!), and then we were joined by our wider family for the afternoon, which included our two-month old-niece, so it was very exciting having two little ones to enjoy the day with. We keep in touch with Harry’s wonderful foster carers too, and especially like to mark the anniversary of him arriving with them on Christmas Eve – what a Christmas present!

If you would like to help Home for Good find a home for good for every child, like Harry, who needs one please donate to our Christmas appeal.

I want to help!

Author:
David and Kimberley, adoptive parents


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