The truth about motherhood

Whether you are a mum through adoption, birth or as a carer. As a grandmother, godmother or guardian. In the now, the not-yet, and the way-back-when-but-always. In your imagination or your daily reality. When you foster the vulnerable, care for the helpless, and cherish the broken. During 2am feeds, graduation ceremonies, restless wonderings, panel assessments, Friday night pizzas, LAC reviews, day trips, homework, and yet another doctor’s appointment.

As your heart aches or breaks or bursts or hurts or soars or shatters or hopes.

You are a mum.

The truth is, you are unique.

As you traverse the twisted pathways on route to becoming a mother in whatever form that may take, as you balance the many burdens you carry on your shoulders at every stage of your journey, as you deliberate decisions that will affect so many more than just yourself, you do so in the right way for you and for your family.

You are just the person you should be and your story is your own.

‘Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking away from all that will distract us and focusing our eyes on Jesus, who is the Author and Perfecter of faith.’Hebrews 12.1-2

The truth is, you are enough.

As you empty yourself of every ounce of energy to be the mother they need today, as you seek to be content within your circumstances while desperately longing for more, as you cobble together a birthday party that is nothing like the images you found on Pinterest, as you navigate the complications of single parenting, as you rush bedsheets through the tumble dryer so they are ready for the latest emergency placement, as you fret and worry and battle with a dozen insecurities while standing at the school gate.

You are giving the best you can, and that is always good enough.

‘For we are His work of art, created in Christ Jesus, renewed and ready to be used for good works.’Ephesians 2.10

The truth is, you are strong.

As you keep getting up with the sun to prepare formula, as you cling on to faith when yet another month passes without success, as you keep your voice calm while they are screaming, as you say goodbye to another foster child moving on to their forever family, as you advocate for a little one who needs extra support, as you endure yet another assessment by social workers, as you go on surviving (even just barely) after experiencing the unthinkable and most excruciating of losses.

You are holding on without giving in to the lying whispers of weakness that lurk around you when things get tough, and that is real strength.

‘So you, my child, be constantly strengthened and empowered in the grace that is to be found only in Christ Jesus.’2 Timothy 2.1

The truth is, you are not alone.

As you weep in the bathroom while tiny hands knock at the door, or as you weep in the bathroom longing for those tiny hands to appear, as you gaze wistfully at picture-perfect Instagram filters, as you panic over high temperatures or playground bullies or late-night parties, as you grit your teeth in frustration as another meal goes by uneaten, as you ache with emptiness over new-found freedoms, as you fall into bed desperate for just one night of unbroken sleep.

You are held by a loving God, and He is with you in each moment.

‘For He has said, “I will never desert you nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless, nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you.”’Hebrews 13.5

The truth is, you are contributing something that really matters.

As you identify colours and count to three and practice each letter, as you press the pause button on a career or as you keep on working, as you model radical hospitality and generous family by continuing to open your home and your heart to vulnerable children even though you know letting them go again will be agonising, as you cheer on the child in last place and celebrate with them for getting to the finishing line, as you choose to love and love and love and love, and keep on loving.

You are making a significant difference by shaping futures, enabling possibility, and creating second chances.

‘Now to Him who is able to carry out His purpose and do superabundantly more than all that we dare ask or think, infinitely beyond our greatest prayers, hopes, or dreams, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory.’Ephesians 3.20

The truth is, you are.

You just are.

And the real truth of motherhood is there is no single truth. Our Glimpses of Motherhood series has shown us that. There is no one route to becoming a mum, just as there is a vast myriad of ways of actually being a mum.

Becoming and being a mum is always hard.

Waiting to be a mum is hard. Realising that your route to motherhood is not going to go as you had hoped, and may not lead to the destination you imagined, is hard. Respecting your child’s birth mother as an adoptive mum is hard. Persistently loving children who have suffered trauma is hard. Enduring amidst relentless cycles of pain is hard.

Wherever you are in the great tangle of motherhood, know that...You are unique.You are enough.You are strong.You are not alone.You are contributing something that really matters.

On this day, when the full spectrum of motherhood is so often reduced to a twee message on a greetings card, we hope that you may cling on to these truths and rest in the embrace of the One who loves you most.

*All verses are taken from the Amplified Bible.