A letter from Home for Good… To all those caring for care-experienced children in 2020

In this crazy year of 2020, we see you and we thank you.


2020 has been a year like no other. The word ‘unprecedented’ may have been over-used, but there is a reason for that. All over the world, families, communities, businesses and more have felt the impact of this pandemic. The news has been filled with stories of wonderful individuals who have gone above and beyond in this season, and those who have had to count the cost of such a difficult year.

But we know there are thousands of you out there who never made the headlines.

To every foster carer, adoptive parent, kinship carer and special guardian – all those who love and look after children who have experienced early life trauma.

As we come up to Christmas and round out 2020, with all that the festive period may bring you, we want to write to honour YOU. To shine a light on the extraordinary things that YOU have done in this year.

We see you. We understand the impact that this year has had on you and your family and the extra burden that you’ve carried.

And we want to say thank you.

For the months of isolation fuelled by uncertainty that brought new levels of anxiety to your home and family (when there is already always a bubbling undercurrent of anxiety in your precious children).

For all that you held and handled as BIG feelings were outworked by little (and not-so-little) bodies, and for continually picking up the (literal and metaphorical) pieces after the many major meltdowns.

For the challenge of home-schooling, however (un)successful, and the lack of margin it gave you.

For managing your children’s uncertainty, in the context of all the uncertainty and change that’s gone before for them, when the entire world exists in a permanent state of not knowing. For the toll this took on your heart as you navigated through it.

For the grief and loss that you’ve experienced this year – for you, your family and beyond. For the way that you’ve had to process that differently because of the children you care for.

For the creative ways that you’ve stood in the gap for your teenager as they’ve missed friends, family, freedoms, and a hundred significant milestones, whether this has been warmly received or dramatically rejected.

For having to self-isolate as a household again and again and again as yet another bubble bursts and you’re left having to attempt to occupy, entertain and keep peace in your home all day every day, when all your great ideas ran out shortly after Easter.

For the days when you felt like you had nothing left to give but you got up and gave it anyway.

For navigating the challenge of online everything. School, contact, therapeutic provision, meetings with social workers, parents’ evenings and more – not to mention quiz nights and birthday parties and all your work meetings too. We know the additional weariness and fatigue this brings.

For making yet another visual timetable for yet another week that yet again looks different from the one before. (Knowing the timetable may well be ripped to shreds before the week is up – and you totally empathise when it does because you’ve been itching to do it too.)

For once again playfully responding to fear cloaked in anger with a silly game or a tickle fight or a tight squeeze You are building trust and security in your child with every made-up song.

For taking time to patiently explain (again) lockdowns, tiers, restrictions, viruses and vaccines to a kid who just wants to hug their grandparents and play football with their friends.

For the countless other things that no one has seen or acknowledged but you kept on doing because they might just mean your precious child can hold on a little bit longer.

We see you and we stand with you.

And even more than this, God sees you.

And He loves you.

And He is with you.

In all that this year has brought, He remains the same, faithful and present father.

And we join with Him today to say thank you.

You’re doing a far better job than you think you are and we’re praying with you that 2021 will be different. That the big things would change - less Covid, less restrictions, less loneliness, less financial hardship and less of all the other challenges that the pandemic has brought. And that change would happen in our families too, for the precious children that God has entrusted us with. That the difficulties of 2020 would lead us all to be more understanding, more accepting, more nurturing and more supportive.

And that we’d all just be able to give our friends a real hug.

Thank you for your heart, willingness, persistence and care. We’re incredibly grateful for you all.

Happy Christmas from Home for Good.

Author:
Home for Good


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